Paanch Paishecha….

Where I work, in Andheri East, the congestion seems to have reached the stage where an abnormal queue of autorickshaws at the gas station is sufficient to cause a traffic jam. Something that I’m still having difficulty coming to terms with is how during peak hours (which incidentally is any time other than 2-5 pm, I’m not exaggerating!) it could take anything like 20+ minutes to traverse 1-km!

Okay, I was just setting the stage here. Last evening, found myself in a complete nightmare of a snarl, one almost worthy of the monsoons when the roads become moonscapes. I was rather exhausted so in an somewhat unusual display of machismo, pushed and squeezed the car almost diagonally across the arterial road. To the extent that for some part, I actually crossed into the single-lane reserved for BEST buses in the opposite direction. Hmmmm… tangling with BEST buses is not a bright idea at the best of times, and this time was nasty to put it mildly.

As luck would have, found that I became a slight obstruction to a bus headed in the opposite direction, took a couple of minutes to shoulder the car to the left, squeezing an autorickshaw in the process, completely ignoring the angry bleats it made in protest.

All of the above was only to lead up into the half-minute or so that I was within talking distance of the bus - the bus driver leans out and says “lakhanchi gaadi chalaoto par paanch paishecha akkal nai…’ I may not have got the exact words (it was too noisy) or the grammar (I still don’t get along in Marathi) but the effective meaning of the phrase was ‘driving a car worth lakhs but without 5-paise worth of brains…’

It was a nasty time, frayed tempers, much aggressiveness and posturing, so I had to retort, and then retort with something nasty, so I shouted back words to the effect ‘doesn’t matter, you’ve been given the whole lot na’ or something to that effect. To which he had to reply, saying ‘get a move on’. To which I had to reply, saying ’save the rest for your father.’

And so we continued inching our respective ways. Another of the typical encounters that one lives with in this city of snarls, congestion, dust, pollution and unimaginable stress levels.

And yet, just a couple of minutes later, I found myself chuckling. At the delightfully tongue-in-cheek bite of what the bus-driver had said. Of what he must be facing all day long - cars behaving obnoxiously, cutting and swerving and pushing their way through. Not to mention the outrageousness of the autorickshaws. And yet, this man didn’t get vulgarly offensive, which is what we’re all used to - a stream of filthy abuses as you move on, there was none of that at all. If anything, I was the one who came out ruder in the encounter.

And for a few moments there, I wished I could go back and shake that bus-driver’s hand, and laugh out long and loud with him. And compliment him for his wit and propriety.

I hope I will remember this encounter the next time I start feeling pompous and taking myself too seriously - and expect the traffic to magically part on my approach! ;o)

Salut, you indomitable Bombay-ite you!! May your tribe prosper. And I shall definitely invest more than 5-paise in acquiring some brain.