Childs Eye-view?

These are apparently answers from kids during tests. But even if they’re not, they still make delightful and imaginative reading. Thanks for the forward R.

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up here these days.

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t why you should.

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H’s as O’s.

Clouds are high flying fogs.

I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.

Wind is like the air, only pushier.

“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”

“H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.”

“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.”

“Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.”

“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”

“The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e,i, o and u.”

“Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.”

“Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.”

“The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana .”

“Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa .”

“Germinate: To become a naturalized German.”

“To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.”